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We are doing integration with ServiceNow, we have a set of queries for CIs and relationships, and we use staging table that we flush at every integration.
To identify deleted things, we compare staging table and destination table for what is not there and we use an aging process. after a certain age we delete the element.
Dunno if it can help for you
Thank you Rémi for sharing this approach of deletion. We were thinking about having a query from ADDM which shows the parent and child Ci relationship deleted.I am not sure this query can be possible from ADDM, if it is then we can initmate servicenow that this relationship destroyed in ADDM between this two CIs..